i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
