We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
