you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
