he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
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You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
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There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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