I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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