I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize