i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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