I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We left an ass print on the piano.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
