My room smells like vodka and shame
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
