Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
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This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
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After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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