I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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