We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
