there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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