i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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