Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
this boner is exhausting
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
