Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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