you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
