I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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