Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Someone signed my nipple.
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