The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
