I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
