is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
