its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
