A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize