I'm jealous of your bromance
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
