he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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