Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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