We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
