This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize