I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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