Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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