i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
