she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize