All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
birth control should be required to get into college
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
