I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
whose parrot is this?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
