Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Just high enough for therapy.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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