he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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