O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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