does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
