I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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