I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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