no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
