Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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