I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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