Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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