Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
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