What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
