Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
