That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
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We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
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She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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