brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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