i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize