To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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