I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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