Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
