I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
