well you can't waste a boner
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
