just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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